“Neophobia is the fear of anything new, especially a persistent and abnormal fear. In it’s milder form, it can manifest as the unwillingness to try new things or break from routine.”
Sometimes it’s the small things that pose really big challenges. At other points in life, the challenges are bigger, like starting a new job, moving into a new town or dealing with serious illness. Sooner or later we all need to learn how to survive. It was not perfect. I had made mistakes, but I discovered myself thrashing around helplessly in the circumstances I used to run from and that’s all before I could learn to stay afloat on anybody’s shoulder. It may not always have been elegant, at times I may have needed someone or something for my stability, but in the end, I conquered my fear. Looking back, I see that my confidence and optimism has grown by the year. I am proud of every challenge I overcame, of every experience that provided me with an opportunity to grow. I am proud of every skill I acquired, every problem I solved.
Today, I am filled with the conviction that I can do everything, and that conviction outweighs my fear of failure and loneliness. Both are the compulsory turns of the journey. What matters is that you don’t give up and approach your goal one step at a time, even if the journey takes you on alternate routes. It’s important to always take that next step instead of sticking on the same spot for fear of what may await you. Sometimes we need to jump into it to really understand that it is not that difficult. It’s OK if it takes a while before we really master it.
Would I want to be that again? No never
Back to feeling insecure, back to being overwhelmed.
Feeling that fear of the future again, back to uncertainty?
Being worried about the dark, deep waters of adulthood?
No, I’m good, thanks.