” I can see you as a dead soul “
My life proceeded to take a more stable phase thereafter, and in time I got it all together. But this phase did not pass without pain, tear & fear. My body still struggles with the results of it, and even today I face panic attacks from time to time. That said, I got off lightly. But I am not going to finish. Not yet.
From today’s point of view, I understand what she was telling me. She must have felt so helpless, forced to encounter how I self-destructed myself.
She must have felt like I felt today. I caught the exit just in time, but did you? No, you didn’t. You still speeding down the same old route. Fully controlled, escaping quick and faster, and it gets worse and worse. You’re not listening to anyone, you are not open to any help from the outside. Right now your mindset is ‘I have my life under control’, and ‘don’t worry about me’. But we do worry. What was a phase in my life seems to have become a permanent reality in yours? You ache to feel alive, but you’re slowly killing yourself. You don’t want to hear it when I or anyone tell you. Not today, not tomorrow. I see you falling down even more, and I wonder how many tomorrow’s you have left on your way? Think and answer it to your own self.
#Find what you love and let it kill you.
#Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
#Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
#For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.